"What do you think about when you daydream? Where does your mind wander during the moments before you fall asleep? What is the first thing that crosses your mind in the morning? Answer those questions honestly, and you will discover your greatest passion."
I read this quote a year or so ago in a devotional and wrote it in my journal. I don't know exactly where it came from...maybe Chuck Swindoll or something? It is very apparent to me that my role as wife and mother is my passion. I feel called to this...I so desperately want to be the woman God wants me to be in this role. I've waited my entire life for this and it really is my passion. I truly have never felt more alive...ever.
But I woke up this morning not feeling it...not at all. Instead, I woke up before six to Parker chattering away and Griffin already getting ready for another meal, and I was literally thinking here we go again. And then I immediately felt guilty for feeling this way about my life. My amazing life. Maybe it is because I was up until eleven putting groceries away and washing dishes and I'm still tired...or maybe it is because I'm discouraged about some feeding issues with Griffin. I don't know....I'm just a bit tired and weary. And then I remembered this passage from Matthew 11:28-30 in the bible:
"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
I've been putting bible passages on my refrigerator to remind me of truth throughout the day and this will be going up today. I'm praying that as I meditate on these words, I will learn more intimately about the unforced rhythms of grace...
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7 comments:
I too feel this way, and know this feeling oh so well. But it's just how it goes sometimes. We love our children, and love being there for them, but sometimes, (& I say that lightly) it is like "here we go again" but then they do other things throughout the day and you dont even think about how tired you actually are. I only have 1, and can only imagine what it's like with two so I praise you! Keep up the excellent work with those two gorgeous boys of yours!
It is sooo exhausting sometimes isn't it? I honestly don't remember the last time I woke up feeling rested AND joyful! I feel guilty about that also. It's such a gift to be able to stay home and raise our kids.
Thanks for posting the verse. I needed to read that right now!
Hope you have some time to step back and relax. Just remember the 4 month mark where it all get's so much better! : )
Sometimes I feel the same way. Some days it seems like all I get accomplished is feeding everyone and cleaning up those messes. It helps so much to be in God's word and be reminded of the bigger picture of it all. Posting verses on the refrig. is a great idea!
unforced rhythms of grace...I love that. It makes my heart rest somehow.
I find that I am constantly going up and down again - one day is just divine, and I couldn't love everyone and everything more, and the next morning, without anything changing at all, down I come. Crashing.
Cling. That's all I can do. I will scratch you into my prayer journal - meeting with God first thing, before anyone else is up, is what I have found to work best for me in this season. And while it prepares me for the day better than if I were not to do it, it's still not a guarantee, and it requires stopping myself repeatedly during the day to refocus, look around, take in the joy...
(((Amy)))
Same here..."here we go again"..."didn't we just do that yesterday", "didn't you JUST eat", "Man, I just wish they would sleep"...But, we are BLESSED to feel this way, I have to remind myself too! When they are looking ever so quiet and innocent in their beds is when I realize...I'm the luckiest woman in the world........
Oops...forgot to tell you...YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! That picture is AMAZING!
Amy, this was beautifully written. You have encouraged me to live the life God has laid out for me with joy and happiness. Thank you for being so vulnerable and open! It was wonderful talking to you on Friday and I hope you had a great weekend!
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