another award for me...

Sometimes I wonder if I am just here in the blog world to make all of you feel really good about yourself. Well, here I am again to fill your tank of confidence:) Really, who gave me permission to be responsible for three children? I clearly don't have it all together. I hope you can relate. And if you can't, keep your mouth shut. Thanks.

So I had a remarkable trip to Costco the other day. I don't know why, but I always think that a big shopping trip with all three kids has to be better than the last time. I mean, there is just no way we can repeat that tragic trip, right?! Right?!

Wrong. This time, Griffin was the star of the show.

On the way in, I was pleased that Griffin decided to sing Jesus Loves The Little Children in his outside voice...which actually sounds like the top of his lungs, but not quite. He sang all of the verses. I don't know how many verses, but I do know that we got some looks when he sang about shed blood and dying for children. I was proud. My little preacher. I was also relieved that he was singing instead of karate chopping his brother.

This is going to be a good trip. Nice work, Mama. Deep breaths.

Before even starting in on the list, I realize that Griffin has to pee. Of course, he doesn't tell me...I just notice that he is getting some stares because he happens to be ummm...grabbing. So, beeline to the bathrooms. Check. I even brought sanitizer with me to do double-duty on the hands.

Nice. Here we go!

Pleas for ice cream begin. Quick trip to get sundaes. Griff wants strawberries on top. Fine. Whatever will keep them happy while I cruise thru the list. After one bite, he announces that he doesn't like it and will not even carry it. So I put it in the cart, sorta propped up. Of course the strawberries find their way all over Griffin. Everywhere.

Of course. Shoot. Strike one. This might be a tough one...
But keep breathing. Smile. Pretend you aren't losing your mind already.

We actually sorta kinds cruise through the list without actually losing any kids. I almost did once, but they were just too loud...and I found them in the next aisle. And I almost don't notice the nasty looks and snickers and knowing glances. Almost.

Woo hoo. Gonna get out of here alive! Success. Almost. Just gotta navigate the parking lot and then I can really get a high five!

Oh, wait...got to check out first. Paying is good.

So I get in line while I breathe some relief and the boys argue about who is going to get what out of the cart and load it up on the conveyor belt. Is that what they are called? Anyway, I go up to the register while Hollyn stays in the cart and slightly panics because of the great distance between us. And the strangers, oh my! I hardly notice the boys because I was busy...you know, paying and stuff. Looking back, it might have been a good idea to pay attention. But hindsight is 20/20, right? Right.

I'm immediately brought back to reality when I notice Griffin unloading the 36 eggs from the cart.

MOVE AMY!!! Oh.my.gosh. Aaaaahhhh. No0000!!

You won't believe this...but the cashier (bless his heart, must be a parent or something) catches the carton of eggs before they hit the floor. Seriously. He really caught them...and no eggs were lost in the process! So cool. There were actually finger holes in the bottom of the carton from Griffin's little paws. Sort of cute.

Now THAT was a close one. Phew. Oh, man. Breathe. Nothing happened. Nice work.

Oh, but the best is yet to come.

Debit card swiped. No cash back, thank you. One box, please. Ok boys...ready to go.....Oh.my.gosh!!

I look back and see a sweet older woman come towards me with Griffin in hand..."He's hurt!"

Apparently, Griff had tried to carry the jar of almond butter and dropped it on the ground. He then decided to pick up the shattered glass to put it up on the conveyor belt. Almond butter everywhere. Just a big, beautiful mess.

My response, of course..."Oh, no...it is just the strawberry that is all over him, not blood. No, he's fine....really."

So I scurry out of that place after getting a new jar of almond butter, of course. Get the kids and groceries in the car and use the wipes to clean Griffin up.

Shoot, shoot, shoot...so embarrassing. Bad Amy! BAD!!! Pay attention to your kids. But why isn't the strawberry coming off of Griffin's hands and arms?? Stubborn stuff, this strawberry syrup! Oh no...not strawberry....BLOOD! SHARDS OF GLASS!! Amy, you should not be allowed out in public with three kids!!

Now, I'm going to end this story now....because it just doesn't get any better. Actually, the really good news is that Griffin is ok. And I'm recovering slowly. And the really awesome thing is that this is just an account of a average day...seriously! I'm a mess most of the time, really. Is this normal? It has to be, right?

Anyway, I hope that you feel better about yourself now...or at least maybe normal:)


Kelsey said...

This story gets better and better every time I hear it :) I love the way you wrote this post...your voice is all over it :) You are a great mama and you better not doubt that for a second!

Blomgrens said...

I love you and you are an amazing mom, no matter what you say! You are so strong and I just imagine you handling this chaos with such grace :) Also the thing that Griff was grabbing, you can just call it a wenis next time, we all know what you mean! Haha!

Dan said...

I agree with Kelsey... it does get better. lol

Gina said...

normal!!! :) i don't have it together either. you are just way braver than me.
we should take our 6 kids to costco together sometime!! that would be funny.

Dan and Shell said...

Oh Amy, you made me laugh...I could really picture the whole thing by your great writing :) The joys of 3 kids close in age=chaos for sure! You are a great mom, & so calm & beautiful, you would never know there is anything wrong! It does get better the older they get...but I have to warn you, trips to Costco do not ;) Ha!

Amy and Jonathan Hook said...

Hysterical story. I love it. And I especially love the way you told the story - I can hear you in it ;). Those are the moments you don't want to forget because they sum up life right now! I can only imagine Costco with three because Costco with one is craziness!!

Jen said...

Amy...you are hilarious! I can hear you telling the story! I'm so glad Grif is okay and that you all survived the Costco trip! :)

The Boggs Family said...

Oh Amy.... that sounds... awful, and yet, just-about-right for this stage with 3 at the ages ours are at! Like Amy H., I love how you told the story. And without apology, I don't have it together at all. Not even any of the time. Love you guys!!

Courtney said...

I laughed the whole way through this! I know it probably wasn't funny at the time but you I love the way you told it! =)

Sue Asbjornsen said...

Quite a guy, that Grif! I look forward to watching how God will use this precious and passionate boy. All hot or cold--no lukewarm in Grif; nothing to spew out; just tremendous resources for God's handiwork.
All that aside...thanks for putting this hilarious story to print with your voice! SOOOO good. (How in the world can Park identify you as only "a little bit" funny?!)
Love you.

Dareth said...

You are perfectly normal.

At least I hope so, or I am a bigger mess than I think I am :)

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