Praying Parker

It has been so fun having Joel home with us this past month or so. Parker has become quite a Daddy's boy--which I think is just great because next month, I'll be the favorite! Parker has also become quite spiritual lately:) In all seriousness, I believe children have a unique relationship with our creator and are able to recognize God in all sorts of ways that adults have lost since childhood. As parents, we have this special opportunity to relive that wonder with our children--if we allow it. It has been interesting to see Parker try to imitate some of our daily practices.

• Praying- Parker likes to get us to pray with him all the time. We hold hands and bow our heads and after many, many prayers, we have to start to be creative and thank God for Parker's teeth or something like that because it seems like we've prayed for everything else (I know...totally not possible)! Parker peeks all the time but he tries really hard to focus on the prayer! He likes to say, "amen".
• Reading the bible- Parker will often drag Joel's bible over and ask over and over to be read to. Joel does and it makes me so proud. Even though Joel tells me that it is because Parker really wants the pen that is inside the bible, I choose to believe that Parker wants to hear the bible stories.
• Musical praise- We keep Parker with us during the first part of the church service so he can be a part of worshipping God through music. Parker gets into a sort of trance when the music starts and just doesn't snap out of it! He waves his hands in the air like a mad-man and plays air drum like none other. The head-bop is also something else. I love how free he feels to express himself...t is such a great reminder for me!
  

Our beloved Lazy Bones

I have been wanting to write for such a long time now, but I haven't found the right time. Joel has been home with Parker and me and for some reason, I have a harder time finding time to get online. Those boys keep me busy. I have a few things to write about but only enough time for one subject. Later I will tell you about Parker being smacked by a bully and my Mama Bear claws coming out and about our new small group at church. But now...I'm going to tell you about our newest baby and his or her new nickname: Lazy Bones.

We had our ultrasound yesterday and got to see for the very first time our beloved Lazy Bones. I know I've said this before, but Parker was such an excited little boy even before he was born. The kid never stopped moving around when we saw him on ultrasound. I thought we had a monkey in my tummy and, as it turned out, we did:) This baby never really changed positions during the 20-25 minutes that the probe was on my tummy. He or she is head down, as low as possible, and the head was cocked to one side. The tech was trying to get it to move around but the most we got out of the baby was a little toe wiggle or finger in the mouth. And these are actually movements that I felt... so it is clear that the baby never moves more than this! Since the baby didn't turn, we really didn't get a good idea of what the babe looks like. We got a few shots of the face straight on but those tend to look like scary Halloween faces. We did get a few profile shots but they weren't really clear. Our only conclusion was that the baby looks a bit like Parker--and we think that is a really good thing.

In reality, the fact that we didn't get to see what the baby looks like doesn't matter and actually makes me more excited for the birth. We did find out that baby is healthy and strong and measuring right on track. What wonderful news! And the fact that the baby is lazy doesn't bother me a bit because...well, you could just as well say that about me:)

Go Cougs...but please don't take me in the water!

Parker had his first swimming lesson yesterday and, as you can see from his face in this picture, he enjoyed it quite a lot! He was the only kid in the class that was upset but I attribute that to his little fall into the lake this summer:) It actually got better as the lesson went on and I think he might have smiled a couple of times. I'm just glad that he was with Daddy and not me--he might have persuaded me to take him out of the pool!
The day got much better, though, and Parker experienced his very first Cougar football game. We traveled to see Kelsey and joined her to watch her beloved Cougs. It was so fun! It was a close game and very intense. Parker learned how to root for the team and really joined in on the action. He ate the majority of our bag of kettle corn...see the above picture of Parker and Kels! Gotta give up good nutrition when you're at a game!

Some observations made on our trip...

Blogging has been on the back-burner lately as both Parker and Joel have experienced a terrible flu. One of the things that irritates me the most is when you tell someone you are sick and they immediately ask if is contagious. I always think that is so rude. However, I became that person this week as I was spraying Lysol all over and keeping my distance from my husband. After experience way too many weeks of morning sickness, I wasn't about to start puking again. There was really no way to stay away from Parker because I was the only one who could take care of him. And little kids have no concept of trying not to breathe in other's faces. So far, so good, though...we'll see.

I do have some things to write about regarding our trip. I have a few thoughts; some worth writing and some...maybe not:)

*Why do American women tend to wear bathing suits that are a few sizes too small for them? Just wondering. It seems as though a good 60-70% of women on our cruise decided that smaller was better when it came to their suit and I felt so bad for them. I really wanted to go and have a talk with them about how a well-fitting suit is so much more attractive. Of course, I didn't, and so I'm writing it here. Maybe it is on my mind because I am in a state of growth and very aware of the need to change sizes when needed.

*I don't like flying anymore. Well, it isn't exactly flying that I don't like--I'm not afraid and I used to like the rush of the airport that flying brings. I really just don't like being that close to people for an extended amount of time. We flew a red-eye flight and I was very sensitive to body odors and some extreme cases of bad breath. I also, for the first time, felt very nauseated with each take-off and landing...and we had many.

*My lips were not designed for the Bahamas. For those that know me, you know that I am well-endowed in the lip area:) While I didn't enjoy this feature when I was younger, I appreciate my lips now. But when I'm in sun for a good amount of time, my lips become so sun-burned (even with SPF 40)! And it isn't just a little sunburn. My lips were so fried on our cruise that they swelled up so big overnight that I had a hard time speaking the next morning. Then they went through a few day of intense peeling--very attractive! I guess my Norwegian heritage should have warned me that we fair ones are not meant to endure such strong sun!

*This trip was good for me. I don't think that I realized this, but I was a little burnt out before we left on our trip. I think I was just so tired of trying to keep everything together that I was beginning to be less of a mother, less of a wife, less of me. I had whole days where I didn't think about what I had to fix or what I had to do better. I realized for the first time in a long time what it was to be still and know that God is God and that I am not. How truly refreshing.

Joel and I also needed this extended time of being just us without Parker. I'm not sure if we had forgotten what it was like because it felt totally normal, but very special. We reconnected and reflected on the past few years and how we're so glad they're over! It was fun to be silly and without responsibilities. We went on dates, slept in, stayed up late...things that we don't do as often now. We want to do trips without kids much more often and certainly not take this long to take a trip without the next baby.

I also really needed this time away from Parker. I missed him but I also had fun doing things that I wanted to do instead of "mama" type of things. I came back refreshed with more patience, more of a sense of humor, more love for Parker, and more love of my role as his mama. I need to take more time for myself, by myself, in order to better appreciate my time with my child(ren). This is one of those things that I read and thought I understood prior to becoming a parent, but I haven't put it into action as much as needed. Parker has, all of the sudden, become cuter, funnier, smarter, and more amazing than ever--all since coming back and even with the flu!

There you have it; my deep thoughts from our cruising adventure! We highly recommend a cruise if you're in need of a no-stress, no-responsibilities, beautiful vacation--which we were!

We're back!

We're back from our cruise in the Bahamas and reunited with Parker! Of course, we had an amazing time together and everything went so smooth--including leaving Parker and his time with Gramma. I may reflect more later about some of our experiences, but for now I will give a quick rundown of some of the things we did:

slept in, read a few books including this one, went to lovely meals, sunbathed at the pool, worked out in the exercise facility, toured around Nassau, saw a couple productions in the theater on board, experienced a pool party with a buffet, drinks, dancing, ice carving, etc., snorkeled in Coco Kay, burnt our skin a bit on the amazing beach, met fun people at meals and on excursions, (Joel) went rock climbing, toured around Key West, went to the aquarium, went on another snorkeling excursion... this time 7 miles off the coast of Key West over a reef...and missed Parker just a little bit:)

Here are some of our pictures from our time together. If you look really close, you may see a few pictures of this growing girth-- lucky you!

We're off....almost!

We're heading off tonight to go cruising in the Bahamas! I'm so excited and pretty sad about leaving Parker. I know that he's going to be fine, but I've never spent this much time without him. We really intended on doing this type of thing sooner because we want to keep our marriage a priority and we also want to raise independent children. I thought we were doing so well when we went on a date without him when he was one month old:) However, here we are, a year and a half later and we're going on our first trip alone! I'm hoping that Parker is disobedient this afternoon so it is easier to leave him. I do know that this is going to be so fun...so good for our marriage...so good for me as a mother--and I think God is going to bless this time. I also think that Parker is going to have a blast with Grandma (thanks mom)! However, my nerves are still all over the place, so please pray that all will go well. Can't wait to tell you all about it and show you great pictures!

And a little side note: Happy Birthday to my beautiful niece, Audrey. She's one today! Parker is such a fan of little Audrey...he even knows how to say her name (Dawdry). Cousin love already!

blackberries and the fair

Of course...more pictures to share! We've done a lot of fun things lately. To celebrate my dad's 51'st birthday, we went up north to take a drive and we ended up picking blackberries. Parker was not dressed for the occasion but he certainly dug right in! He was literally eating the (unripe) berries off of the vine. He was just in heaven! When he realized that Grandpa had perfectly ripe berries in his basket, he found an easier way to get the good stuff. He was covered in blackberries and, then later, dirt--because a little boy must sit down in a dirt pile on every occasion possible!

To celebrate my parent's 30th anniversary, they invited us to go to the fair! We saw all the animals, ate the very healthy fair food, and enjoyed watching Parker boogy to the fair music coming from all directions. Parker can't help but dance when he hears music. He would just stop in the middle of the walkway and begin to really feel the music. My mom actually has some great pictures of this happening. Being a little kid must be so fun!

Growing Girth: Installment #2--17 weeks

I wasn't going to do this until Tuesday or Wednesday because I already posted today, but my friend Jenn posted her cute belly and now I want to! Jenn looks super cute and I don't look that cute, yet. Anyway, it is worth sharing because it is fun to see the changes. I've chosen to spare you my head, once again.

Any guesses, Aleah?

Some more pictures from last weekend...

We also were able to go to my cousin's wedding with my family. It was one of those times that I totally forgot (or avoided) taking pictures. Do you ever just want to enjoy an event without having to remember to take pictures? This was one of those times. I did, however, get a great picture of Audrey's baby with Parker's Hummer. I love how my little boy is so into cars and boy things and Audrey loves her baby and girly things. As the wedding was going on, Parker started to say, "mama, dada, mama, dada"--repeatedly...and Audrey was continually quacking, so Andi and Joel took the kids to a nearby field to keep the peace:) They left baby and hummer to enjoy the wedding. I thought that was very nice of them. We also were able to get a very nice family picture. Kelsey looks really, really tall! Of course, it was a very fun evening and we all enjoyed spending time with one another.

Some graduation pictures...

Joel and some of his classmates at the ceremony


Joel and his brother and sisters at his graduation party


Celebrating Joel's graduation...



Parker and two of his cousins at the graduation...they were so well behaved.

Just wanted to post a few pictures of all of the celebrating we enjoyed last weekend! I have so many more, but I'm getting impatient with my 'puter. It was so nice to have some closure and celebrate all that Joel has accomplished. Joel's sister hosted a great party the night after the graduation where we were able to spend time with family. It was such fun! It was unique in that we got to spend time with both sides of our family. Thank you to all of our family for making it such a special weekend!

Thursday Thirteen: September 7

13 things I should really blog about but I just haven't gotten to yet...because I'm a slacker!

1. My lasagna recipe...yummy!
2. Joel's graduation and all of the festivities surrounding this blessed event
3. My 17 week OB appointment
4. The book I'm reading
5. Another growing girth photo
6. Our anniversary
7. Our upcoming cruise to the Bahamas
8. Without Parker :)...:(
9. The pacifier debate
10. My parents 30th anniversary!
11. Parker's love of his cousins
12. A list of thirteen reasons why I would love a certain family to live here
13. Anything Parker related because he is oh so lovely...

For more Thursday Thirteen lists, visit ThursdayThirteen.com

For Daddy...

My husband graduates from PA school on Thursday and we're so proud of him! We've had some tough spots in these last few years, but I think we've done pretty well considering all the challenges we've had. You know, challenges like having a baby, moving three times, living with family members, buying a house, expecting baby number two, no income, lots of bills, applying for PA jobs...And on top of all of that, Joel has managed to do very well in school and secure himself a great job. Amazing! We will also be celebrating our fifth anniversary on September 1st! What a big, big week for our family! We miss you, Joely! We can't wait to see you very soon...

Wanna see my tummy?

You all get an insider's view into this lovely little world of pregnancy. I thought that I would share a picture of my belly every now and then to keep you updated on how my girth is expanding. Don't worry, you will never see a bare tummy. Yucky:) So, here it is...the headless, 15 weeks pregnant tummy. I have to say, though, that the bump looks bigger in person. Maybe I was flexing? You'll just have to come see me to find out how much bigger! More to come- oh yeah!

I'm a winner!!

I have The Blog Of The Day for my post, No Faking! I can't believe I got an award...I feel honored! And all this time, I've been embarrassed about writing it in the first place. Looks like it has now got me a place of honor. I better get caught up on blogging now:)

Thank you for the award and the nominations!

~Amy

Daring to Dream...

My little sister has started her very own blog and so....look out people, this is going to be good:) You should head over to Kelsey's place when you have time. I'm sure you'll soon love her like so many of us do!

Daring to Dream

Thursday Thirteen: August 24

Thirteen reasons I'm excited for the fall season:)

Okay...so I know that my last post was slightly related to the change of seasons, but now I can't get it off of my mind. Maybe if I write out a list, I can relax a bit and enjoy the end of summer while we have it!

1. The colors! The foliage around here is just amazing! I hope to go on some small family trips to explore the beauty.
2. The coziness of lighting candles and snuggling up with a blanket
3. Pumpkin Patches
4. Cooking: Almost everything I like to make is best suited for the fall and winter (see below)
5. We'll be that much closer to meeting our new baby! So here is the way I see it...we'll have the lovliness of fall, the joy of the Christmas season, and then BABY!
6. Local apples at farmer's markets and stores
7. Making lots and lots of applesauce. I have a (not so) secret ingredient in my recipe: raw sugar!
8. Our upcoming Halloween party with family and friends
9. Dressing Parker up in a super-cute costume...
10. Which I might just make by myself
11. Wearing sweaters and real shoes (instead of Chaco's and flip-flops!)
12. Jumping in leaves with Joel and Parker
13. Husband will start his first PA job on Oct. 1 and then we'll get a paycheck! I could make a whole list of things that will be great about this. Maybe next time...:)

For more lists like this, please visit Thursday Thirteen!

Tomato Soupa!

I am starting to feel the change of seasons and I'm getting excited for fall! Actually, it is still really hot here, but you know how you can feel things change when school starts for students and people start staying home more instead of vacationing? In past years, I haven't been quite ready for fall to come, but I think that living in a hotter climate has made me very ready for it! So, in honor of the end of August and the upcoming days of coziness to come, we have a very yummy tomato soup recipe from Everyday Food.

• 4 Tbls. real butter
• 2 Tbls. olive oil
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• coarse salt and ground pepper
• 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
• 3 Tbls. tomato paste
• 2 springs fresh thyme (or 1/2 teaspoon dried thyme)
• 2 cans (14.5 oz each) reduced sodium chicken broth
• 2 cans (28 oz each) whole peeled tomatoes in juice (the recipe says you can use the kind with basil already added but I like to be in control of my own herbs and spices. I add my own basil, oregano, and garlic to tase)

What to do... 1. In a 5-quart saucepan or Dutch oven, melt butter over medium heat; add oil and onion, season with salt and pepper. Cook until onion is translucent, about 5 minutes. Stir in flour and tomato paste, cook one minute

2. To saucepan, add thyme, broth, and tomatoes, breaking up tomatoes with your fingers. Bring to a boil; reduce heat and simmer, 30 minutes. (Remove thyme sprigs before blending.)

3. Working in several batches, puree half (or more!) of the soup in a conventional blender until smooth; return to the pot. Season with salt and pepper. (Make sure you hold a hand towel tightly over the blender to prevent the pressure from popping the top off when blending.) Serve immediately, or let cool to room temperature before dividing among airtight containers (leaving 1 inch of space at the top and freezing.)

notes: I believe this soup is best when you let the tomatoes rule; don't go overboard on the herbs and spices. This recipe makes a ton of soup so cutting the recipe in half would be fine for a small family. Enjoy!

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen things that I want to say at this very second...

1. I woke up nauseated today
2. So I'm sorta grumpy
3. I have the stupidest can opener in the world (Is "stupidest" a word?) Oh, and it took me ten minutes yesterday to open two cans. Ridiculous.
4. I feel really embarrassed about my post about my floor. I think I made people feel nervous to come to my house. Totally not my intention:( Should I erase it?
5. This list is going to get more positive in just a second. I promise.
6. My sister comes home in...let's see...30 hours or so:)))
7. I love making soup and I think it is the best thing I make.
8. I have a great tomato soup recipe...do you want to see it?
9. I'm really excited because Parker and I kind of got on a new schedule yesterday (finally!)
10. I feel big right now.
11. But that is okay, right? I'm pregnant for goodness sakes!
12. I bought this at Motherhood Maternity and I feel so much better!
13. So now I can wear my regular jeans and shirts and, really...what could be better?

If you would like to read more lists like this, visit Thursday Thirteen!

Family Fun...

The first picture is of Audrey and Parker looking quite angelic in Grandma and Grandpa's wagon. Could they be any cuter? The next is the action shot of the very next second: Parker falling off the wagon and Audrey with a suspicious hand on his back! She didn't mean to push and Parker forgave her very fast:) Oh, cousins...

We spent the weekend with family up at my parent's place. We had so much fun just relaxing with the family and watching the two little ones play with one another. The only bummer: Kelsey couldn't be with us this time. She is, of course, off on her summer adventure! We were able to spend time with my brother and his little family, who live across the state. We sure wish we could see them more often. Parker especially misses little Audrey. He would get pretty sad when she would go to bed and then didn't understand why she had to leave to go home. They have such different personalities but they really got along well.

No Faking

So... I've come to the conclusion that you just cannot fake a clean, hardwood floor. Our floor in our house is almost completely a dark Oak (except for the kitchen and bathroom). It is really beautiful and one of the reasons we fell in love with our little treasure in the first place. I like being able to know that my floor is really clean. With carpet, you never really know what is underneath all of that cushy lovliness, do you? I mean, it might feel good but are you always in the presence of filth?! If my floor looks clean, it really is. I like being authentic:) It is a lot of work but really worth the battle. I sweep constantly and mop all the time but there always seems to be a lonely crumb here and there.

A little sidenote: I feel really blessed when people take off their shoes before coming into my house. How respectful! I can't help but feel panic when I see dirty shoes leaving a mess. Anyway...back to the real subject.

As I was mopping last night, I was thinking about how it is easier to be authentic as a person, when we have less to cover up with...kind of like carpet over a hardwood floor. Joel and I are in the process of trying to simplify our life. We intentionally bought a small home with the hope of living a "smaller" life with less material things. So many people have made comments about this being our starter home when, in reality, we hope to stay here for a very long time. We are trying not to be swept up in the trend of buying more and more and moving up and up. What is the point? I think that if we got on that track, we might end up cluttering our lives with so many "things" that we may have a much harder time being our authentic selves...a harder time being the people God intended us to be. I want to live my life like a hardwood floor. If it is messy, I want that to be clear to those who know me well. If my life is looking good, I also want that to be apparent. I don't want to have the option of faking it...kinda like my floor! It is a lot of work but certainly worth the battle.

By the way, if you come into our house and don't feel comfortable taking off your shoes, I will really be okay with that:) Honest.

Fun at the lake

Parker had fun with Daddy and with Winston at the lake on Sunday. What a nice, relaxing day! How do you like Parker's hot bathing suit?!

Baby on my mind...

I've got serious baby-brain right now. I keep thinking about this little one...how big it is right now, if it is a boy or girl, what we should name him/her. So many thoughts and still so much time!! We've found a girl name that we really love and we have had a boy name but now we're not so sure. It was totally the other way around with Parker! So, needless to say, I do a bit of searching online about my current favorite subject.

I really like the Social Security Administration website. You can see what the most popular baby names were for a specific year and even search for a specific name to see what it ranked for a span of years. Very interesting. I find myself searching friend's names, just out of curiousity! I don't really care if our baby has a sorta popular name...just not in the top 20 or something...and certainly not made-up:) I also frequent this fetal development site that I found when pregnant with Parker. It is so interesting to see how the baby grows and mom's body changes. I think it is funny to see how the intestines have to move out of the way!!

Anyway, this is what I do in my spare time and I thought I'd share these great sites!

Five Ingredient Friday

Pizza Friday

Joel and I used to always make pizza together on Friday every week. This tradition is slowly coming back into play after about a year hiatus as we were moving from place to place and didn't have our beloved pizza stone!

We make our dough in our breadmaker on the dough/pasta setting. This 1.5 lb crust actually has 6 ingredients but we just won't count the water as one:)

7-8 oz of water
1/2 tea. coarse salt
2 Tbl. olive oil (or canola oil for a flakier crust)
2 Tbl. honey (this is my secret ingredient!)
3 cups flour
1.5 tea. active dry yeast

Combine all ingredients into bread pan. Select Dough/Pasta setting. Press Start/Stop. When the unit signals and the display reads 0, press Start/Stop and remove dough.

Spread a few Tbl. of cornmeal onto a pizza stone or pizza pan. Pat dough into pan and let stand for 10 minutes. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Spread desired sauce and garnishes on top and bake 15-20 minutes, or until crust is golden brown.

Here is a little extra tip for making some excellent pizza sauce:

1 can tomato sauce (I think 12 oz or so)
1 little can tomato paste
1 Tbl. Italian seasoning
2 cloves crushed garlic
1/4 tea. sugar
1/2 tea. salt

Combine all ingredients together and then simmer on low for about 10 minutes. This makes enough sauce for two pizzas.

*We actually cooked our pizza on the grill a few weeks ago and we loved it!

For more five ingredient recipes, visit Overwhelmed With Joy...

This baby is real!

Since Parker is currently eating Cherrios off of the floor (his new favorite hobby), I have time to give a quick update on our first OB appointment we had yesterday. Can't believe I just admitted that my son was eating off of the floor. I know most people are fine with this but it is different when you put it in writing! Parker has been enjoying eating his snacks in his little red chair (thanks grandma!) and then dumps his cup of snacks on the floor and crunches them with his feet. I think I should get the mother of the year award for this one:)

Anyway, back to the OB appointment. I love the place and all the workers so far. They all loved Parker and asked us to bring him back next time. They made everything so easy and I was able to pick the Doc that will be with us through the pregnancy. He is much like the Doc that delivered Parker. He's an outdoorsy guy...in his 50's...a grandpa...and GOOFY! Just perfect! We did the usual stuff that becomes routine at OB checks. They checked my weight, blood pressure, talked to me about symptoms and what to expect this month, etc.

The best part of the visit was getting to hear the heartbeat! It was much different that when we heard Parker's HB for the first time. When trying to find Parker's HB for the first time, all they had to do was put the doppler right on my tummy and, bam, there he was! His HB was unusually fast (high 170's to 180's) everytime because he was always moving. We always heard his little arms and legs swishing around. The doctor would always ask what I was feeding the little squirt. And the boy is still moving...he never stops. This new baby, however, is a little more relaxed I think. It took a little while for the nurse to find the bean and then when she did, the HB was 162 and we didn't hear much movement. Parker's heart was never in this range...it sort of shocked me! Maybe this baby actually sleeps or maybe he/she is shy and didn't want to be heard? I'm already comparing my kids...this could be a bad sign. It was so wonderful to hear my new baby's heartbeat. I feel more attached and reality has really sunk in about having a new baby. I'm really looking forward to it. Having an infant around the house seems so easy now and I think Parker will be a great big brother. I can't wait until the next appointment!

More camping...

Check out Aleah's post about our camping experience. She has more pictures and more details about our trip....and she has a beautiful, not so little family:)

Here is a pic that Aleah sent of Joel and Parker. Aren't my boys good looking?

Poop!

How do you get a human poop stain off of a carpet? Need tips now!!

I changed Parker's diaper on the floor after his nap and didn't know he had a blowout. Now we have smeared poop on our light colored rug.....what to do...what do do?

Splatter paint thoughts...

Sometimes I cannot figure out what I want to write about because I have so many little things running through my head. Here are a few...

~I found this picture of Parker on our camera this morning. Joel must have taken it when I was in the shower. Parker thinks he is so cool in his shades and my hat!

~I'm tired of eating. I never thought I'd say that but I am so hungry and everything sounds gross. Well, not everything. I'd really like to eat a box of maple bars but I.will.not.eat.those.things:) If I told you everything I ate yesterday, you would be amazed.

~You know what is better than a totally helpless baby that needs to be cuddled all the time? An independent little one who chooses to be cuddled. Parenting gets better and better everyday.

~Joel and I have decided that responsibility sometimes stinks. I'm sure you will all agree...

~I'm learning that I have an easier time forgiving people who hurt me than forgiving people who hurt those that I love. It is an ugly thing that I'm trying to work on.

~Parker got three shots yesterday and it was a very traumatic experience for both of us. He is at the age that he is old enough to remember what happens in that office but young enough to not understand that it will be over very soon. He cried the entire appointment leading up to the shots. The nurses were arguing about how to administer the shot while I was pinning Parker down and he was having a panic attack. Whatever happened to the cartoon bandaids and lollipops? They could have made him feel a ton more comfortable. We will not be going back to that office again. Can you tell that my mama bear claws are coming out as I write? We did find out that he's growing and developing very well. Parker is still a little squirt...which really surprises me because I think he looks totally normal.

~Gina and I have made a goal that we will both try to make it a point to recognize other children's character before their appearance. So before telling a little one that her dress is cute, tell her that she is a very kind person or that she shares very well. It actually is harder than it sounds. I challenge you all to try to do the same...

~I have my first OB appointment tomorrow and I'm really hoping to hear the heartbeat. I remember when we first heard Parker's little heart. It is something that I'll never forget.

Camping with good friends...

We had so much fun camping with our friends Phil, Aleah and their kids. We love spending time with them and learning from them as well. We hope to be parents like them when we grow up:)

Parker loved the camping experience. In fact, he cried when we got home and kept asking to look at the pictures of the other kids. I think he got attached!

Tag me! Tag me!

Okay, I have a few minutes before I need to get going on our trip... so I thought I'd participate in this little game. I feel like I'm in elementary school playing tag because when I read Andi's post, I was really hoping that she'd tag me:)

Five things in my freezer...
~Morningstar Farms Chick'n Patties
~Coffee
~Mixed Veggies
~Frozen Berries
~Whole wheat waffles

Five things in my (dining room) closet...
~My lovely red scarf
~My winter coat
~Good Night Sleep Tight (Parker's book)
~A shelf that needs to be hung
~Our dreaded file of crap (stuff that we shove into a file when we don't want to look at it anymore)

Five things in my car...
~Lots of pacifiers
~Parker's cereal on the floor
~The luxury seat (Parker's carseat)
~Old receipts...bad, bad, bad
~All of our camping gear!

Five things in my purse (diaper backpack)
~Diapers:)
~Fruit cups
~Lip gloss and lots of it!
~Gum
~SPF 50

I tag...

Gina
Aleah
Jen

Does anyone else want to be tagged? Now I really am back in elementary school--I don't want to tag anyone that doesn't want to be tagged. Maybe I'd make them feel peer pressure;)

Tagged

I've been tagged by Andi and I'm super excited, but I'm supposed to be packing for our big camping trip this weekend with our friends Phil and Aleah. And here I am reading blogs....figures:) I'm going to do this when I get home. Thanks Andi!

Wish us luck on this trip. This is Parker's first camping experience. I'm so excited to be going with Phil and Aleah and their four kids. I'm sure we're going to have some chaotic fun...my favorite!!

I miss my sister!

My sister is off having a summertime adventure near the Atlantic coast and I think she should come home today! As you can tell from the picture, she's fun, pretty and best of all...she loves my Parker like none other!

Come home soon little sister or I'm going to come get you myself:)

Eat Dirt

What? You don't let your kids eat dirt?!


Okay, so we've had a little problem with our air-conditioned bliss. Our AC unit broke the day after it was installed so now we have no AC in 100 degree weather. It is seriously like 95 in the house. I have a very bad word for this but I will refrain from polluting the web:)

On Sunday morning, we were out at 6:30 am working on our flower bed. This is the only time of the day we can do this, you see, because it is the only time it is below 90. Okay, okay, I'll stop complaining...I'm getting tired of listening to myself.


Anyway, Parker loves to help with everything and so he was basically sitting in the dirt and throwing it all over. Very fun! He was so happy in the dirt. I think he started eating it when I wasn't looking. Why do kids think dirt tastes good? Thank God for Parker. He is so lovely even when I'm thinking unlovely thoughts...

Blessings!

Just a day full of blessings yesterday...

My mom came over in the morning and helped me get ready to have my Joel's parents over. She did so much! She folded my laundry, cleaned my bathroom, made up three beds, helped clean up around the house, AND entertained Parker. This would have taken me soooo long to finish and I felt so ready to have company. She did receive some payment...a nice slobbery kiss from Parker that only a grandma would enjoy:)

Later in the morning I had a great visit with my good friend Gina and her son Winston. I love having easy conversation with Gina and spending time with her and Winston. She's really encouraging and our babies are about the same age. I think they should never leave!

When Joel's parents showed up, they surprised us by giving us an air conditioner for our house. I cannot tell you how this will change our quality of life for the summer. It is supposed to be 104 today so the AC will be going full blast.

Such a day full of blessings...I'm so thankful!

See Gina... I can post even with company!!!

Identical twin girls and a bad diet...

You all might think this is sort of funny after my passionate post about girls. I had a dream that we found out that we were having identical twin girls AND I didn't pass my gestational diabetes test. I don't know which one I was more worried about...the girls or the strict diet I would have to be on! Both situations are possible...twins run in our family and I barely passed my GD test last time. Eeeek! By the way, if we find out we're having twins, we will find out the sex ahead of time. That would be waaaaaay too much to handle on the birthday!

Parker and I are on our way to decorate cookies with other moms and kids. Actually, I really just want to eat them. Maybe I am on my way to becoming diabetic!

Bikini for Baby?

Boy or Girl? Hmmmm… I’ve been trying to articulate to people and to myself, how I feel about having a girl vs. a boy. Most people think that I want a girl this time because we already have a boy and …every woman wants to have a daughter, right? Not necessarily true in my case.

While I’d be thrilled to have a daughter, I’m not sure I’m ready for it yet or if I ever will be. I really love having a son. I love the unique mama-son relationship that Parker and I have. While Parker wants to be just like his daddy and copies everything he does, he always looks to me for reassurance and comfort. Always. Many people don’t like the whirlwind of activity that boys create…but I love it. It is such a fun challenge to try to rope that energy in and create healthy experiences for Parker. It really keeps me on my toes because, by nature, I’m not like this at all. I like peace, rest, solitude….you know, not necessarily what toddler boys like. We’re so different. I love being exhausted at the end of the day because Parker has had me chasing him around the house or helping him knock down towers or insisting that I take him outside and play for the hundredth time. I love having a little boy and would love having another one to increase the chaos:)

To be really honest, I’m scared to have a girl. I know that people love to buy clothes for little girls and dress them up and make them look cute. But I think that parents are making a mistake when they put so much focus on clothes and such for little girls. I think it sends a message that appearance is too important. I hate it when little girls are dressed like mini-teenagers. I think it is disgusting and inappropriate. They have plenty of time to choose to look sexy and hip (and they will), but childhood is not the time. I especially don’t like bikinis for little ones…but this is just a hang-up I have. Okay, I’ll step off of my soapbox now…

It seems like girls are often recognized for their appearance, while boys are more often recognized for their character. Why is that? I think that it starts with parents and the emphasis we put on outward appearance vs. character. With boys, I think it is easier to center our attention on raising men of integrity and character (and I have such a passion for it), but with girls, I feel there are so many distractions that even parents can get hung up on.

I guess, to put it bluntly, I’m afraid of failing. I feel confident in raising boys. I feel good about the way we’re raising Parker and I’m afraid I’d totally flop with a girl. I’m afraid that I’d go along with the rest of the world and become obsessed with creating a beautiful child and lose my focus. And then when she becomes a teenager, I’ll see my mistakes coming back to bite me!

In my heart, I know that God will prepare me to be the mom that this new baby needs….boy or girl. I just need prayer that God would calm my nerves and give me wisdom and confidence in our decisions.

All this thought and it really doesn’t even matter because I have NO say in the matter. The sex of this baby has already been determined. Even now, I’m being prepared to be the mama to this new little one. It will be interesting to come back and read this later!

I grew something!

I was feeling a little down about myself the other day when my grandma told me that my tomato plant probably should have little tomatoes on it by now. My plant is huge but there were no little tomatoes. I love the thought of gardening but I’m really not that great at keeping plants alive. I killed ivy once. An ivy…no one can kill ivy. However, as we were coming home the other night, I saw four little, green tomatoes on my struggling plant! I’ve never grown anything before. Well, I take that back. I’ve grown flowering plants and I happen to grow children for a living—and the second one, by the way, is currently sucking the life right out of me:). But, in any case, today is big day because I’ve finally found that I can grow something edible...a vegetable…fruit…whatever it is!

I'm a fairly laid-back mama, especially when it comes to dirt on my little boy. I like to let him play in the sand and get all yucky. I think kids should be allowed to get dirty....such a good, fun learning experience. Parker really enjoys packing the sand into his scalp and squeezing dirt through his fingers. Good stuff. However, I do not like a dirty house and I really don't like a dirty bathtub. So, to keep my tub from becoming a second sandbox, I bathe Parker outside after a visit from the grime fairy. I have a really tiny blow-up pool (really tiny...like two feet wide) that I fill up with water from the hose and a pot of boiling water from the house. This makes it warm enough for a good bath, but not too hot. I bring the baby wash, towel, and rubber ducky outside to make it feel authentic. It is a win-win situation: Parker gets to be a real kid and enjoy the dirt and I still get to enjoy my clean tub. Outside baths...this is what works for me:)

For more ideas, please visit Rocks In My Dryer.

Grumpy Parker

Okay, so the picture really doesn't reflect the title or content of this post but this was Parker having a good moment. Actually, any moment with food is a good moment. I'll have to keep that in mind!

I think Parker is mad at me. For the past three or four days, it seems like he is so frustrated and doesn't want to be around me. He's usually such a happy little boy, so you can imagine that this concerns me...and makes me a little sad. I used to be his favorite person:) I keep thinking that maybe his molars are bothering him...maybe he has allergies, maybe his tummy hurts, or his head, foot, toe, knee, belly button...hmmmm. But I'm beginning to think that it isn't a physical hurt at all. Maybe he's mad because I'm boring and just lay around on the couch all day because I feel sick? Maybe he even senses that change is coming and he's no longer going to be the only one? Or maybe, just maybe, he's just a toddler and going through a stage? Yep, I'm sure that is it. And this too shall pass!

We spent the 4th of July holiday with Joel's side of the family at the lake cabin. The lake and cabin are so beautiful--we feel so blessed to be able to enjoy the property with people we love.

Parker and I went up early so Parker enjoyed lots of time with family. Family members were so great to take care of Parker while I battled out my morning sickness:)

Parker had some new developments in his life over the time we spent at the lake. Here are a few...

• He learned the word "boat" and the sound it makes
• He found that he can entertain a large group of people with his dancing skills
• He fell off the dock into the cold water with his daddy (with a life jacket, thank God!)
• He learned where his eyes, ears, mouth and nose are located. Yep. He's not only found his nose, he's found his nostrils and that his fingers fit perfectly inside those little holes. This is the stage I've been in fear of since he was born! Disgusting!

Just a picture day...

I don't have the energy or inspiration to write anything today...this whole pregnancy thing is harder than I remembered! I thought a little picture was better anyway.

This is Parker looking out onto the lake from the "big boat". I thought it was a great shot of his perfect ear:)...more to come from our holiday weekend.

Works For Me Wednesday

We just recently found out that we're expecting our second baby in February of '07! February seems like an eternity away...especially now that morning sickness has set in. Ugh. This time, it has started earlier and is way more intense, so I'm trying to take action NOW! I have found that the only thing that keeps the nausea from creeping up and turning into a trip to the toilet, trash can, etc., is popping in a piece of mint gum. It kind of takes the edge off of the nausea and makes me feel like a semi-normal person. Mint gum...this is what works for me...at least right now:)

We'll see if this still works over our vacation to the lake. Be back on Monday!

Find out more at Rocks In My Dryer...

Questions for God

Since becoming a mother, I have all of these new questions for God that relate to Him being our Father! Motherhood changes your perspective. This is an understatement, I know! I want to share a few that have been in my head lately.

~Do you ache for us when we're apart?
~How big is that lump in your throat when you see us suffer?
~Does it hurt to love so much and how do you keep that ache at bay?
~What does it feel like to have eternal patience...and can you share some?!
~Do you have to catch your breath when we tell you we love you?
~Are you ever tempted to run your fingers over our "imperfections" because you think they are perfect?
~Do you stare at us for hours while we're asleep?
~Do you ever want to wake us up just so you can spend time with us?
~Do you ever want to jump for joy when you see us enjoying our gifts or we explore our passions?
~Do you marvel at the texture or our hair, the color of our eyes, the shape of our lips....?
~Do you ever laugh at our creative ways of saying "no"?
~Do you ever feel ultimate love and frustration at the very same time?
~Are you counting the days until we can come home to be with you?

What are some questions that you have for God that are related to being our Father? Please Share!

Christianity in the Margins

I wanted to share a sermon that I will always remember. I won't remember it because it was super eloquent or excellently spoken, but because the unscripted and raw words changed my heart about my lifestyle. Check it out when you have time: Christianity in the Margins I

Blessings to you!

Parker's Email

About a month ago, I opened up an email account for Parker. I read about the idea in Cookie magazine and I was just so excited to get started! I've been sending Parker emails about all of the everyday things that I love about him. They are just little notes of mama-love that are just for him to read when he can. (I know, he is a genius, but he really can't read yet!) And this isn't just for me...Grandma has already sent him a few notes and I hope others will too. Someday, I will print all of these emails and pictures out for Parker and I'm sure that he will enjoy reading about how he drove me crazy in so many ways-- but mostly with the amount of love I have for him. I love that it is just for Parker to read and no one else...not one email will be opened by me! If you would like to send Parker an email, his address is: ParkerD(last name)@gmail.com. Isn't that cute?:)

More sprinkler fun..."What you lookin' at?"

Everyday Tomatoes

This may be insignificant to many people, but I am so thankful for my PUR water filter in my fridge. Our water here in our city is not so tasty and I won't drink it unless it goes through my filter. I love going to my fridge and pouring myself and nice, cool glass of tasteless water. I'm a total water snob...so thank goodness for my filter or I'd be a shriveled prune!

Visit Everyday Mommy to find out more...

Recipe for Fun

Parker is going to hate me for this picture later on :)) So... I have a great recipe for some summertime fun for a toddler and a little bit of rest for mama:

1 hot day
1 sprinkler
1 pair of soft-soled shoes
1 naked toddler learning how to pee without a diaper on:)
1 relaxing mama on a lawn chair

Mix it all together and you will get an afternoon of summertime bliss. Nothing better than that!

Works For Me Wednesday

Visit Rocks In My Dryer to find out more!

I'm unfamiliar with the official rules of blogging. I assume that you aren't supposed to post twice in one day...but I don't care! I've really been wanting to share what works for me this week!

So here's what works for me... I've started to do my major cleaning on Sunday evenings, once Parker is in bed. It may seem like a strange time to clean. I used to do little bits of cleaning all week, but I've found that this works better for me. I put on my chill out music, Tao Of Peace and work peacefully and breathe deeply:)

Okay, side note abot Tao Of Peace...this is the music I chose to help me relax during labor. Well, it helped for the first 25 hours or so, but who really is relaxed during transition?! Anyway, believe it or not, it really brings back good memories, so I use it as my cleaning music. You should check it out!

As a busy mom of a toddler, I have found that there is no better feeling than starting out the week with a clean home. While I'm cleaning, I just prepare myself for the week ahead, and sometimes pray as I clean. I go to bed feeling so relaxed (maybe because of the music) and prepared to start the week with a clean slate. I seem to have less chaos going on in my head on Monday morning and I can focus on just having fun with Parker. I love it! So...that is what works for me.

I'm really home!

I don't know what is wrong with me. We've been here for over three weeks and I haven't hung anything on the walls! I admit, part of it is because these walls are plaster and it is kind of a pain to hang things on plaster. However, I think that I am a bit in denial of the fact that I am really home, that I can really settle. Wow! What a feeling...I'm amazed by this unfamiliar feeling. We've spent our whole marriage (almost five years, by the way:), knowing that we will move on from wherever we were living. I've never fully engaged, which is kind of a sad thing to admit. But at the same time, I've always felt that this little city is home--no matter where we've lived. I really love it here. I feel like myself and more ready than ever to make a home. Now I need to just hang our lovely things on the walls because it is really about time. I'm really home now...I can settle in.

Summer Days...

Sunday was such a great summer day for us. And why not, it was Father's Day, of course! Parker and I pretty much ate blueberries and cheese all day, which I thought was very well-rounded nutrition:) We went to church, worked in the yard, cleaned the house, took a walk, let Parker play in the park, and ate outside for dinner. We really ate outside for dinner...even Parker's highchair was outside! We made fajitas on the grill, which I would highly recommend! We just got a grill so we're newbies at this whole cooking out thing, but I think we're a mighty fine team. I'm going to document what I did so I can duplicate it sometime!

Summer Day Fajitas

4 whole wheat tortillas
Grated Cheddar and Jack cheese
1 lb. chicken, diced
2 bell peppers (yellow, orange, or red) cut into slivers
1 sweet onion cut into slivers
Fajita seasoning
Cooking oil spray
Foil

1. Spray two sheets of foil with oil spray and place chicken on one piece of foil. Cover with fajita seasoning and mix well. Make a pocket with the foil and place on the grill for 20-25 minutes.

2. Repeat foil process for veggies. Season veggies with fresh ground pepper, sea salt and garlic powder. Grill for about 10-15 minutes.

3. Combine all edible ingredients (plus your favorite garnishes) in a tortilla and enjoy!

Five Ingredients Friday

Overwhelmed With Joy!: Five Ingredients Friday

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Smoked Turkey Panini-Everyday with Rachael Ray June/July 2006

I made this the other day for my husband and I and we've found a new meal for the rotation...love it!

4 Tablespoons unsalted butter
2 Granny Smith apples--peeled, quartered, cored and thinly sliced
1 loaf of Italian bread, cut into 4 equal pieces, then each cut in half lengthwise
1/2 lb smoked Gouda cheese, grated (I used smoked cheddar because I'm sort of regular:)
1/2 lb thinly sliced deli smoked turkey

1. In a grill pan over medium-high heat, melt 2 tablespoons of the butter. Cook the apples until just softened, about 5 minutes. Remove the apples from the pan and reserve; don't clean the pan.

2. Top each of the 4 bread bottoms with one-fourth of the cheese, turkey and one-fourth of the chees, turkey and cooked apples, and the bread tops.

3. Melt 1/2 tablespoon of butter in the grill pan over medium heat. Add 1 sandwich and place a heavy pan on top of it to press it down. Grill for 3 minutes, pressing down occasionally, then turn over and continue cooking until the bread is toasted and the cheese has melted, about 2 minutes more. Grill the remaining sandwiches, adding another 1/2 tablespoon of butter each time before grilling.

Yummy!

Relationships

Since we've been moving every so often, I feel like I've been in the phase of developing new friendships lately. Some people may think that it is exciting to start a new life but I find it so difficult at times. Cultivating intimate friendships takes so much work for me that I often find myself avoiding it altogether. I know this can't be healthy! And...it really isn't what I want. I'd much rather have one or two very close friends than ten or more acquaintance type of friends. Oh... and it takes so much time to build enough trust to be able to laugh freely and speak candidly with another. However, I'm feeling inspired and encouraged by recent conversations with some of my closer friends. This town has a way of bringing so many people from my past back into my life. I've been having so much fun spending time with a close family friend, a friend from college, a friend from high school...I'm reminded of why making the effort to form these relationships is so worth it, however tedious the process may be.

I read an article in the April/May issue of Radiant that had some good reminders...

• Live Simply ~ "Only when we give joyfully, without hesitation or thought of gain, can we truly know what love means. This type of love spills over into the way we conduct our lives. Journalist Heather Zydek believes the key to fostering sholeness in our relationships is in taking a more, natural, organic approach to life... making things with our hands, appreciating nature, reading books, having conversations without the TV on, playing board games with friends, having neighborhood barbecues, making a point to call up our loved ones on a regular basis and ask them how they are really doing."
• Be Authentic ~ "There's nothing more attractive, fun or friendly than a woman who is willing to embrace her imperfections and be authentic about who she is. Such disarming confidence quells even the greatest of insecurities, and draws like a magnet others seeking honest relationship."
• Focus on Christ ~ "Wholeness is experiencing Christ's love through a personal relationship with God and loving our neighbors as ourselves. There is freedom in loving people and leaving the results in God's hands."
  

Just a little picture to brighten your day:)

A few odd comments to start off the week...

#1. This is a momentous week in my family's history. My little sister turns 19 today and my big brother will turn 28 on Wednesday! Kelsey is off in the South playing big-time Air Force girl and Erik is on the other side of the state playing big-time husband and father with his cute little family. I'm beginning not to like the fact that we are so far apart while I don't think any of us really want to be. That doesn't make sense to me. Why can't we all just live on one big commune?;) Anyway, a big Happy Birthday to Erik and Kelsey. I love you and miss you both so much!

Amy & Kelsey in Lake Tahoe last August...


Erik, Audrey, Amy & Parker last Christmas...


#2. Parker grew out of his jammies this weekend. No, he didn't grow too tall or too fat, but his feet grew too wide for his footies in his jammies! The footies are literally about an inch too long but they are cutting off the circulation in his feet width-wise. It really is ridiculous. They were perfectly good jammies but his feet just couldn't squeeze in anymore. I bought Parker some new jammies without feet this time so he'll probably be able to wear them until he's five or so:)

#3. Parker learned some awesome new dance moves this weekend. I'm convinced that he got his great moves from me. He was grooving to Jack Johnson this morning and practicing his skills for the ladies. He's such a cool kid!

#4. I love Murphy's Oil Soap. I use it to clean just about everything now and it makes everything smell and look so good. It reminds me of home because my Mom uses Murphy's to clean her floor, as well. Mom's are so great at making a house feel "homey". I hope that I can do the same. I cleaned all of the floors last night and I went to bed feeling so accomplished. I knew that Parker would toss his banana on the floor this morning but at least I had 10 hours of perfection!

#5. We bought Joel some new shirts and ties this weekend for his upcoming big boy job and he looks super sharp.

#6. Yard work is so overwhelming. I love the thought of a really nice yard and a little garden to call my own, but getting started is so hard. When we go on walks now, I look longingly at all of the pretty gardens and wonder who they paid to get it to look that way!

The perfect balance

I grew up with the word "balance" running through my head everyday. So many times, conversations with my family ended up coming back to the concept of balance. Balance in relationships, faith, world view, time management....everything. I feel like whenever I give someone advice, my guidance frequently involves this idea. I don't want to be an extreme anything. Now I'm thinking that maybe I'm obsessed with it!

Maybe this is normal and maybe it isn't. Right now, I'm struggling to find balance in my schedule. I feel like I'm either too busy or not busy enough. Everyday, I wake up and try to figure out the perfect ratio of alone time/social time/Parker time/family time, etc. And then, at the end of the day, I typically feel like I haven't given enough time to one area! Seeing this in writing makes me feel a bit neurotic. Oh no. Basically, I'm announcing to the online world that I need to relax a little bit and give up some of my control over this issue! I wouldn't want to become an extremist ;)

A few pictures that I love...


A recent family picture

Joel and Parker playing in the rain

Parker showing off his skills with great intensity

Signing with Parker

Teaching babies sign language seems to be the thing to do these days and usually I'm not crazy about "trendy parenting":). However, signing with Parker has really been a lot of fun and very helpful. We started signing to him when he was about 6 months old and started seeing him use signs when he was about 9 months old. Now I wish I had been more intentional about teaching new words because he is really learning how to communicate with his signs now. Some words Parker knows: all done, more, love, hungry, diaper, help, thank you, please, sleepy, bye bye, and a few more we're working on. I hope to add a few more each week. Children are ready to start communicating with their hands before they're ready to start communicating verbally so this has been a great way to understand what makes Parker tick...which could be very interesting!

Follow this link to read more about the advantages of signing with babies: http://signingbaby.com/

Goodbye for now...we're off to find out if Parker likes to do crafts (at Kids Crafts)! If he's anything like Joel, then we might have some problems:)

My Utmost For His Highest

I woke up slightly discouraged this morning for no good reason at all. I guess it just happens sometimes. Maybe it was because of lack of sleep or maybe I'm just tired of the busyness of life that comes along with Joel being in the last stages of graduate school. I guess it isn't much to complain about but I'm just so tired of the unpredictable hours and all of the focus on this part of our life. The end of August can't come fast enough!

I opened up My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers this morning to what I thought was the correct date. What I read was so fitting for me this morning. I'm often discouraged by the things in my everyday life that aren't necessarily matching up to what I feel like God has put in my heart for my life (or me!) to be like. I read the July 6th entry instead of the June 6th entry by accident. It turns out that it wasn't really an accident!


VISION AND REALITY


"And the parched ground shall become a pool." Isaiah 35:7

We always have visions, before a thing is made real. When we realize that although the vision is real, it is not real in us, then is the time that Satan comes in with his temptations, and we are apt to say it is no use to go on. Instead of the vision becoming real, there has come the valley of humiliation.

"Life is not as idle ore,
But iron dug from central gloom,
And batter'd by the shocks of doom
To shape and use."

God gives us the vision, then He takes us down to the valley to batter us into the shape of the vision, and it is in the valley that so many of us faint and give way. Every vision will be made real if we will have patience. Think of the enormous leisure of God! He is never in a hurry. We are always in such a frantic hurry. In the light of the glory of the vision we go forth to do things, but the vision is not real in us yet; and God has to take us into the valley, and put us through fires and floods to batter us into shape, until we get to the place where He can trust us with the veritable reality. Ever since we had the vision God has been at work, getting us into the shape of the ideal, and over and over again we escape from His hand and try to batter ourselves into our own shape.

The vision is not a castle in the air, but a vision of what God wants you to be. Let Him put you on His wheel and whirl you as He likes, and as sure as God is God and you are you, you will turn out exactly in accordance with the vision. Don't lose heart in the process. If you have ever had the vision of God, you may try as you like to be satisfied on a lower level, but God will never let you.

~From www.myutmost.org