have mercy

I think if we had ten children, I might become excellent at this gig--motherhood! But since we are not going to have ten, I might as well get used to the fact that I'm just going to have to learn as I go--and I'm going to fail a lot! This isn't brain surgery...I'm just raising little people. But that's just it...they're little people, not robots and they are way more complicated than one might think! I'm always learning, always changing my strategy. What works one day won't always work the next and what worked with Parker doesn't always work with Griffin. Just as I start to feel like I have things under control, something changes...and so I have to. Being flexible and admitting mistakes is so crucial, don't you think?

So like I said a couple of days ago, Parker has been a bear. And that wouldn't be such a big deal if that was normal, but it isn't--he's normally quite agreeable and even lovely to be around. I've been laying awake at night trying to figure out why he's been constantly crying, weepy, throwing fits, peeing on the floor, waking up at night. I know something is up. Last night, I felt like a total failure. I was at my end, I had nothing else left to try. I was totally out of ideas and I felt like I'd let things get out of control. I was tired of not liking my son very much. I wasn't being a good mom. I was stressed and when I get stressed, I go to bed! So I took a nap and my husband put the boys to bed. As I drifted off to sleep last night, I prayed for help with my son. I didn't want to go down this bad road I was heading...

I woke up this morning with some new perspective and fresh ideas. I noticed that Parker was not working well in our morning routine anymore. A couple of days ago, I thought changing was totally unnecessary and I didn't feel like putting in the effort. It was clear to me this morning that what used to work for Parker no longer was....so I decided to try to do things different. I need to learn to flex sooner! I won't say that everything went smooth, but it was a much better morning and it seemed like Parker noticed I was trying to change things up. He still had a couple of bad moments, but I felt like we've taken a turn. I'm still trying to figure things out. And the best part...I liked Parker this morning:) Most likely, it is combination of things. I'm working with him and trying to help him communicate what is going on. Until then, I'm thankful for fresh perspective ... and mercies that are new every morning.